It’s elegant, it’s aggressive, it’s synonymous with high quality watches and you can eat as many potassium rich bananas as you want during the act.
I’m talking about tennis and also, now I think about it, a lap dance at a high-end gentleman’s club. Wimbledon is upon us and it’s time to learn from the world’s second most sophisticated sportsmen, after golfers.
I could have gone pro myself, but I chose a path of higher learning, so that I may help you. But, be under no disillusion, my tennis style and attire has made women embarrass themselves in front of their husbands and my serve has made those same women beg for mercy.
‘Stop serving me so hard Morris,’ my wife Pae Pwang-O’Connor said last week in her adorable broken English. ‘No, I shall not. You stay there. The closer you are to my service ball, the closer you are to my power,’ I shouted. ‘Are you in crisis again?’ she asked. I didn’t respond. Some of my investments are not doing so well, but I’m definitely not in ‘crisis’. I think Pae was projecting on me, the terrifying thing for her is that my second serve is more powerful than my first – it’s like being put in an arm lock and then given a Chinese burn.
The game of tennis is very much like life. You’re out there on your own, it’s your game, you decide how to play it, but in life there’s no umpire, or seating, or nets and most people do not have a racquet-shaped briefcase.
Many of the pro tennis players could easily have had huge careers in business. Federer could have been a powerhouse in banking, Nadal a king in retail, Murray would have made excellent money in high intensity farming. I can’t imagine any animal that wouldn’t grow to its maximum size under Andy’s firm guidance. The one quality, aside from money, that unites them all is focus.
Through understanding the mindset of the professional tennis player you too can boost your success yield. Don’t pay attention for a second in tennis and you could have a ball flying at over 100 miles an hour straight onto your ear, or lip, or worse you could serve irresponsibly and hit a ball-boy in the genitals.
As I said to our Chris, my 11 year-old son, after the accident, ‘if Labradors could be genetically bred to have dryer mouths you wouldn’t have to do this’.
Dr Morris O’Connor is the best-selling author of New Life Balls Please: Forehanding Your Way to Success