By Nathan Muir, senior infrastructure leader at Macmillan Finance
SO Starmer’s removed the whip from four of his MPs, meaning no nasty bastard threatening them if they don’t follow orders? Is anyone else not seeing a downside?
They keep their offices. They keep their jobs. There’s no effect whatsoever on their pay. Basically they’ve been deprived of having a supervisor and are no longer subject to disciplinary action. Where do I f**king sign?
In my IT role I spend half my life getting shit. Whether I’ve not done it, done it wrong, or not logged on for the last six hours and where the hell have I been, there’s always some twat on my arse. And just try finishing at lunchtime on Friday more than three weeks in a row.
If I could, by doing nothing more than voting with my conscience, get out of all that? No boss, no bullshit, no written warnings or mandated sexual harassment training workshops? I’d be straight on it.
Imagine the joy. Turning up when you want, voting if you want, feet up on the desk with the door closed listening to the sweet sound of everyone else getting bollocked. Heaven. Maybe Jeremy Corbyn’s not such a knobhead after all.
Sure, being excluded from the party makes it look like you’ll get the chop if Labour has a round of downsizing, but my money’s on Starmer letting them back in before the election anyway. He’ll need the MPs by then. Basically they get a year or two off and return refreshed, like a sabbatical. I’d spend mine playing Mario Kart World.
So Chris Hinchcliff, Brian Leishman, Rachel Maskell and Neil Duncan-Jordan – never heard of any of you and I bet your constituents haven’t either – enjoy your whiplessness.
There’ll be some bastard breathing down your neck soon enough, take it from me. My phone’s been buzzing non-stop for the past two hours.
