Sunday, 25th October 2020

Brexit celebrations going to be a little bit racist, admit Brexiters

MOST of the Brexit celebrations planned for Friday will be xenophobic bordering on actually racist, Leave voters have admitted.

Events to be held up and down the country are likely not to focus on international trade agreements but hostility to foreigners and re-enactments of World War II.

Leaver Norman Steele said: “Yeah, in theory we’re celebrating positive things like building a new, self-confident Britain, but in practice more of us got excited about dressing a mannequin up like a Spaniard and smashing it up with cricket bats.

“If anyone brings any foreign food or drink it’s going in the bin, and I’ll probably entertain guests with quips like ‘If there’s any French froggy b*stards here, they can hop off’. It’s not threatening because it’s banter.”

Donna Sheridan said: “I’m having a party and decorating the living room with dozens of golliwogs, which you weren’t allowed to do when we were in the EU but it’s fine now.

“Nothing says freedom like a dated caricature of an American negro dressed as a minstrel. I might dress as one myself.”

Meanwhile locals from the village of Dentford in Essex confirmed that plans to burn a 20-foot effigy of Michel Barnier wearing an SS uniform were ‘just a bit of fun for the kids’.