THE BBC has been urged to be more discreet about its ongoing infatuation with chancellor Rishi Sunak.
Over the last year, incidents including mocking up Sunak in a Superman costume have clearly indicated the corporation has the hots for Rishi and wants him to be their boyfriend.
A BBC spokesperson said: “Yes, we know we’re supposed to be neutral but how can you with a dishy dreamboat like Rishi?
“We want to settle down in the Cotswolds with him and have his babies. We’re not being metaphorical – everyone in the news department wants him to come in and literally shag us one by one.
“It’s not just the way he rose from humble origins as a hedge fund manager involved in amazing tax schemes to one of the top posts in government. It’s the way he’s so generous, giving us all this money. I expect he pays for it himself.
“Booking a hotel room is a great idea. It’s going to be pretty crowded but we’re all prepared to try anything.”
BBC viewer Donna Sheridan said: “Didn’t Eat Out to Help Out significantly increase the death toll? And didn’t his delay in extending furlough cause loads of job losses?
“Maybe they’ll address those issues in tonight’s BBC News at Ten report ‘Just look at his lovely eyes’.”