Wednesday, 30th September 2020

Jeremy Corbyn accepts lucrative offer to teach politics at sixth-form

FORMER Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has accepted a five-figure offer to teach Politics A-level at Stoke Newington Sixth Form College. 

Corbyn has eschewed the usual offers of public speaking after his resignation as leader and has instead taken up the part-time role educating 16-18-year-olds.

He said: “I’m immensely popular with young people, as Glastonbury proved, so they’ll be ready to learn.

“We’ll begin with Marx obviously, then a rundown of socialism and why it’s better, then we’ll spend the bulk of our time studying my great moral victory in the 2017 general election.

“Any challenges from the class will be greeted with that petulant withering stare I used to give photographers, and if they don’t pass the exam it’s not my fault. Any questions?”

Headteacher Helen Archer said: “Wait, he’s that Jeremy Corbyn? I just thought he was some down-on-his-luck old leftie grateful to earn enough to keep him in lentils.

“Still, it’s nice he’s found his level.”