Sunday, 9th May 2021

Dad boasts that he has never heard of well-known celebrity

A MIDDLE-AGED father was thrilled to be able to inform his children that he personally has never heard of a popular young celebrity.

Martin Bishop, aged 45, told his two kids that Camila Cabello was entirely unknown to him, a fact he appeared to be overly proud of.

Daughter Charlotte said: “‘Never heard of her,’ he pronounced, as if that meant he’d won an argument.

“We’ve all not heard of people. It doesn’t make us intellectually superior. But he seemed to believe it puts him on a rarified level of serious thinkers and really he should be on Newsnight.

“He’d claim he’d never heard of Princess Diana if it meant we paid more attention to him. I’ll get back at him by pretending I thought Hitler was the baddie in both world wars.”

Martin said: “These people she’s talking about, I don’t know who the bloody hell they are. Why she bothers me about them I’ll never know.

“But when I try to have a conversation about Morten Gamst Pedersen, who was in midfield for Blackburn most of a decade, I get a blank face. Her ignorance staggers me.”