Trump praises Johnson, Farage, Lord Haw-Haw and Jack the Ripper

PRESIDENT Trump has told media that Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage, Lord Haw-Haw and Jack the Ripper are all great guys who he could do a great deal with. 

Trump believes the Tory leadership hopeful, the Brexit Party leader, the Nazi collaborator and the Victorian serial killer have all said good things about him and therefore should run Britain.

He continued: “Boris I like a lot because he’s like me. A winner. A success. Does it by instinct like I do. He’s going to marry Ivanka. I just decided.

“Nigel won Brexit, so he should get to rule the country, and he’s a real little gentleman. Kind of like a butler, but white. Plus he helped me pay Wikileaks one time, which I’m not meant to talk about.

“Lord Haw-Haw is a proper English aristocrat. A lord of the manor. I know he helped a lot of people during the war just by talking common sense, not the fake news the Allies were pushing. Those crowds outside were all cheering me.

“And Jack the Ripper, what’s not to like? A great guy who did a lot to help women, and back then women didn’t have it so good, you know? But the liberal media led a witch-hunt against him.

“I’ll make a deal with any of them tomorrow. Them or Piers. Nobody else.”