DO YOU want a hard Brexit, a soft Brexit, or a mega Brexit with extra mushrooms? Take our quiz to find out.
Should the UK remain a member of the single market?
- a) We must retain full unrestricted membership, whatever the price.
- b) We should get the single market and they should ask us if they can remain in it.
- c) Brexit.
What controls should there be on free movement?
- a) Skilled EU citizens like plumbers and builders allowed in Britain if cheaper and less uncouth than domestic ones, and Britons can take citybreaks without any visa nonsense.
- b) Everyone should have their papers with them and be terrified at all times like in war films.
- c) Brexit.
Is it important to remain part of the European Customs Union?
- a) If I say ‘no’, does that mean we get duty-free back?.
- b) I am confident that saying ‘no’ means we get duty-free back.
- c) Still Brexit.
How should the UK enforce its border with Ireland?
- a) As softly as possible, to not violate the Good Friday Agreement.
- b) 85ft wall with searchlights, minefields, snipers, loudspeakers broadcasting pro-British propaganda.
- c) Full-scale invasion of Ireland, unifying it and saving it from the dreaded EU.
Where would you envisage the UK’s economy being in two years?
- a) Please, please only a recession.
- b) Full-scale depression with rationing, 50 per cent youth unemployment, and luxury goods only available on black market.
- c) Proud.
What role should Nigel Farage have in the post-Brexit government?
- a) Nigel Farage has served his purpose and should be exiled to St Helena.
- b) Nigel Farage should be Britain’s unofficial ambassador to Keeping Donald Trump Stable.
- c) God-King.
Mostly 1s – Oh dear, you want a soft Brexit. Don’t you realise that wasn’t the unspoken and unverified will of the British people?
Mostly 2s – You want your Brexit soaked in vinegar overnight and baked in the oven for three hours.
Mostly 3s – Brexit means Brexit.