A MAN who got his job by birthright is giving a speech on behalf of a man who won a contest by default.
The speech, which takes place in a building paid for by the public that they are not allowed to use, outlines all the democratic changes to daily life nobody had a say in.
Political commentator Denys Finch-Hatton said: “Nothing says modern Britain like watching a weary old flesh puppet forced to read out the words of their master. Doesn’t it make you proud?
“The King will perform his duties with the stiff upper lip this country is famous for, and the prime minister will look on excitedly like a dad mouthing along to the words at a Taylor Swift concert. Everything as it should be.
“What’s the alternative? A government that represents the will of the people and not the interests of backbenchers and shareholders? An obsolete monarchy consigned to the history books where they belong? Sounds a bit far-fetched to me.
“No, this is the country doing what it does best. You don’t even have to think as you watch it. Just sit back and let the unchallenged privilege wash over you.”
Wayne Hayes from Hull said: “I can’t wait to vote this lot out like the papers are telling me to.”