Want to take a shattering psychological blow? Theresa May was prime minister five years ago today

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'Slightly less shit than the pricks after her': A nation pays tribute to Theresa May

THE people of Britain have paid their respects to an ex-prime minister who was still utterly awful but marginally less crap than her successors.

Across the land people have paused to reflect on Theresa May’s legacy of demonising the Windrush generation, mishandling Grenfell, and trying to create a one-party state, while also acknowledging that she wasn’t quite as bad as who followed.

Mary Fisher from Kettering said: “She didn’t f**k up the pandemic, I’ll give her that. But I’m really reaching to find the positives here.

“Compared to Johnson, Sunak, and that flicker of insanity in between, anyone could look good. Choosing the best of the bunch is like playing a game of Would You Rather. At least she taught us all about the existence of the DUP, I guess? That’s knowledge, sort of.”

Wayne Hayes from Darlington said: “She was indeed slightly less shit than the pricks who followed her. Heavy, heavy emphasis on the slightly.

“It’s sobering to think that we can be nostalgic about her reign of terror. Imagine f**king up so badly that people look at her cackling, Ghibli-witch-looking face and think ‘Those were the good times’. But that’s where we are.”

Martin Bishop from Kent said: “Was she less bad or did she in fact lay the foundations for the inept twats who replaced her? Hard to tell. Either way, I’m somewhat moved to see her go.

“I’ll always remember her total lack of humanity, terrible dancing, and the drip of motor oil that leaked from her vision sensors when she ran out of battery and had to resign.

“Wait, she’s just stepping down and hasn’t died? Oh.”