Liverpool fans braced for months of futile optimism

LIVERPOOL fans are gearing themselves up for six months of ultimately pointless optimism.

Once again Merseyside is confident the team can clinch the title, only not quite.

Liverpool fan Nathan Muir said: “I really believe that this season we can do it, but won’t do it.

“I can see us going all the way, three points clear with two games to go, only to lose to Watford at home after Mignolet throws the ball into his own net with no player near him.

“This is what Liverpool Football Club is all about. Passion. Heart. Desire. The shirt. Wanting it more than the other team. Wanting it so much you become paralysed with fear at the thought of not getting it.”

Muir added: “We’re like a man who’s desperate to impress the woman of his dreams on a date, and it’s all going brilliantly until he vomits on her pudding.”