Neville arrested outside Moyes house with gun

GARY Neville as been arrested for attempting to scale David Moyes’s garden fence while carrying a gun.

The former United player was found with a pistol, sack and a signed photo of Alex Ferguson in the early hours of this morning.

Neville’s nearby car had the engine running and the boot open.

Inspector Denys Finch Hatton confirmed: “We arrested a 38-year-old man at 3am in Wilmslow on suspicion of training the defence of set-pieces with the use of menaces.

“The arrest may lead to further charges relating to an incident in December where a tactics whiteboard was used as an offensive weapon.”

Neville was seen leaving Sky’s Sunday Night Football studio yesterday evening swigging from a bottle of Lucozade Sport and muttering the phrase “Europa fucking League” under his breath.

Cheshire constabulary said Moyes’s police protection cannot be boosted because his allocation of officers already exceeds that of David Cameron on a visit to Liverpool.

Manchester United have offered their manager time away from his post while the criminal investigation is completed and have suggested eight years’ gardening leave as an initial period of rest.

Finch Hatton said: “Neville is currently being held in a maximum security cell as the blue police uniforms could remind him of City, Chelsea and Everton, all of which seem to set him off again.”

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BBC's Musketeers adaptation slammed for lack of dog characters

NEW BBC series The Musketeers has been condemned for portraying Alexandre Dumas’s characters as human rather than canine.

Viewer Roy Hobbs said: “When I heard the BBC was doing a big-budget live action adaptation of this classic tale of hound courage, I was like ‘wow, real dogs in leatherwear having sword fights’.

“But they’re fucking people! Even the character of Milady de Winter is portrayed by an actual lady rather than a sexy cat.

“Dumas must be turning in his grave to see his original novel of brave anthropomorphic animals defiled in this way. I just hope the BBC keeps its meddling hands off Cities of Gold.”