DAVID Cameron has confirmed that he well and truly fucked that up.
EVERY country in the former British Empire has demanded Britain resume full political control now it has proven it is great again.
THE UK has announced that its immediate plan for cushioning the economic and social shockwaves of Brexit involves gin, wine and lager.
AN OVERJOYED Leave voter is celebrating the win and can catch up on all that financial stuff later, he has confirmed.
SCOTLAND has thanked the rest of the UK for the good times on its way out.
YOU are responsible for the overwhelming happiness of this man, Britain has been told.
BRITAIN faces a tumultuous decision today because of a relatively small number of annoying, obsessive twats, experts have confirmed.
A RACIST nan who is fuelled entirely by hate has began her slow and unsteady journey to the polling station.
THE referendum ballot paper includes an option for voters whose priority is not upsetting their friends, officials have explained.