A FATHER did not say a word during a 10-hour family visit until telling his daughter to use the M69.
ORDINARY British tap water is now mostly ham, experts have confirmed.
A COUPLE who thought giving each other massages would be ‘sexy’ have been left traumatised by the experience.
A DESPERATE, blithering fuck-up has demanded the media accurately report how unbelievably fantastic it is.
TONY Blair has opened his arms wide and announced his readiness to die for the sins of ignorant Brexit voters.
A DAYDREAMING office worker has been caught mouthing ‘They’ll see, oh yes they’ll all see’ to herself.
A BARISTA at a fashionable urban cafe has been sacked for playing The Lighthouse Family.
A MAN has invited his next-door neighbours to a party he is holding tomorrow night on condition that they do not attend.
A TRAIN operator cannot believe the fucking nerve of a passenger who is demanding a refund because his train was 90 minutes late.