Man at dinner party may be leader of the Liberal Democrats

A SMARTLY-DRESSED man at a posh dinner party may well be Tim Farron, fellow guests have realised.

British pride restored by grovelling to Japanese car company

PATRIOTS have hailed the government’s Nissan deal as proof that when it comes to allowing multinational businesses to behave as they please, Britain again leads the world.

Jamie Oliver wearily wanks out yet another f**king cookbook

JAMIE Oliver has wearily dumped yet another book of recipes, photographs and shit onto the market for Christmas.

All Brexit arguments settled by 0.5 per cent third-quarter growth

ALL debates about the negative impact of Brexit have been settled for good by Britain's 0.5 per cent third-quarter growth.

First wave of Bake Off support groups established 

GREAT British Bake Off fans will be able to judge the Victoria sponges of strangers under new support schemes.

Pointless winner won’t let £500 prize change his life

THE joint winner of a £1000 jackpot on BBC series Pointless has said that he won't let his new wealth change him.

Worker self-destructs career by eating lunch at 11.57am

A MAN has squandered any chance of progressing at work by eating his packed lunch before midday.

Brexiters struggling to think of anyone they like  

FANATICAL Brexit supporters are hard-pressed to think of any group in society they do not hate, they have admitted.

Endangered animals ‘guilty of poor financial planning’

THE loss of two-thirds of the earth’s wild animals in the next four years has been blamed on their refusal to earn and save money.