Man accidentally says 'she'd get it' while watching TV with his mum 


A MAN accidentally said 'she'd get it' while watching a television advert with his mother, it has been confirmed.

34-year-old furious his mother hasn’t bought him an advent calendar

A 34-YEAR-OLD man is outraged that his mother has not bought him an advent calendar for the first year ever.

X Factor 'clearly still brimming with fresh ideas'

THE rise of Honey G has proved yet again that X Factor is a great show with lots of fresh and innovative ideas, viewers have agreed.

Labelling half the country whinging Remoaner twats not politically popular, discovers May

THE shock Richmond byelection result might be related to calling half of UK voters losers who should shut their traitor mouths forever, Conservative sources believe.

Sitting in someone else’s train seat is UK’s most rebellious act

PEOPLE who sit in a ticketed seat on a busy train are rebellious heroes like Han Solo, it has been confirmed.

Hipster politician thinks Article 49 is really underrated

A HIPSTER politician has claimed that Article 49 of the Lisbon Treaty is actually a lot better than Article 50.

Theresa May thinks Kate Bush is shit

THERESA May has thanked Kate Bush for her kind words but regrets she cannot return them because Bush’s music is ‘hippy crap’.

Woman already making space under stairs for bullshit healthy lifestyle gadget

A WOMAN who asked for a smoothie-maker for Christmas has found the perfect place for it to be stored and forgotten about.

Pissed off Christmas trees refusing to leave loft in protest at 2016

BRITISH Christmas trees have said they cannot face being in living rooms after such a hellish year.