Man's mates confused by claim he has married his 'best friend'

A MAN’S actual mates have been left confused after he said his new wife is his best friend.  

Puppy going to f**k you up

A NEW puppy is absolutely not play-fighting, it has been revealed.

Ed Sheeran's arm breaks itself

ED SHEERAN'S right arm has broken itself in a desperate attempt to save the world from his music.

Time-waster parents banned from using Pets At Home as free day out

SCUMBAG parents with no intention of buying animals have been told to stop bringing their bloody kids to Pets At Home.

Children 'cancel out' effects of alcohol

BEING around children makes you feel less drunk, it has been confirmed.

Britain secures trade deal with mysterious country no-one's heard of

TRADE secretary Liam Fox has negotiated a superb trade deal with the previously unknown country of Mungotania, he has claimed.

Buddhist has no idea what it is

A MAN who is into Buddhism has incredible difficulty explaining what it is, people have noticed.

Britain hit by Instagram filter

THE UK’s sky was hacked with a rogue Instagram filter, the MOD has confirmed. 

Boyfriend bears no relation to description of him

A WOMAN’S latest boyfriend does not match the glowing description she gave to friends, it has emerged.