Lord Lucan 'just on gap year'
POLICE are exploring the possibility that Lord Lucan, who disappeared in 1974 following the murder of his children’s nanny, may simply be on an extended gap year.
Investigators believe the aristocrat may have simply taken some ‘time out’ and is currently sitting round a campfire on a beach in South-east Asia reading Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance while wearing a tie-dyed pork pie hat with mirrors sewn into it.
Criminal profiler Roy Hobbs said: “This new theory posits that Lucan may have fled the country for spiritual rather than murder reasons.
“His diary describes a ‘lack of freedom to express myself creatively’ and a ‘total Western downer’ shortly before his disappearance.
Hobbs continued: “Lucan will probably have looked around a lot of temples, taken pictures of misshapen local dogs and played long table football sessions with a group of Israeli stoners.
“If this is correct, we’d have to start looking for him in such locations as Angkor Wat, Malaysia, and of course, Thailand’s Phuket.”
He continued: “Lucan would have changed his appearance – his trademark moustache has probably been replaced by a goatee beard or even a soul patch, and he’s probably got a few piercings or a tattoo that he doesn’t realise says ‘I like cock’ in Sanskrit.
“He may well be carrying a musical instrument – I use the term loosely – such as a didgeridoo or bongo drums.
“This only adds to the urgency with which this man must be caught”.