Tyrannosaurus Rex got mad respect

02-03-12

THE T-Rex received bare respect back in the day because of its powerful jaws but was not immune to haters, experts have claimed.

T was cool with having really tiny arms

As new research shows that Tyrannosaurus Rex had the strongest bite of any creature in history, scientists believe any dinosaurs fronting up to the mighty beast would have gotten instant bad man beat downs.

Dinosaur street credibility expert Stephen Malley said: “Despite his physical prowess, the Tyrannosaurus Rex, or T as he would have been known, was basically safe. T would not go around merking other dinosaurs just because of some petty beef, or for jokes.”

But it was not always easy for the king of the dinosaurs to keep shit on point.

Malley added: “Sometimes packs of velociprators or an allosaurus – another large but lesser-know theropod of the Jurassic era – would get up in T’s grill.

“But the mighty king would just do a screwface, showing all his big teeth and they would instantly back the fuck up, realising that T was a non-pettance bredrin. In that respect the Tyrannosaurus Rex was much like Ray Liotta.

“Triceratops would often front, chatting stupidness and boying T, making him proper vexed because dinosaurs of the therapod and ceratopsid genuses have had beef since time.

“But when the two clashed, triceratops would invariably get bruk up.”

However scientists remain divided on which, if any, of the saurians smoked draw.

Malley said: “Probably brontosauruses smoked once in a while, but only when weed was easily available. They still would have had grazing, seasonal migration and other general shit to do, so it’s likely they blazed a milder ‘day weed’ rather than mad hydro shit, which would also have made them all paranoid about the impending Ice Age.”

He added: “They would not have done any Class As though. You couldn’t get them back then.”

 

 

 

 

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