It's not that much fun, say horses

16-04-12

HORSE racing is okay if you are in the mood, horses said last night.

'You don't know anything about me' said Logan

As the nation’s favourite horse-killing race claimed two, horses across the country urged humans not to assume that they know when a different species is enjoying itself.

Tom Logan, a 14 year-old horse from Stevenage, said: “Most of us quite like a bit of a run now and again, but not all of us and not as much as you think.

“For instance, my half-brother Geoff is a fat, lazy prick.

“Of course that doesn’t stop some lower middle class bitch clambering on top of him twice a week and thrashing his arse with a stick.

“I said to him ‘Geoff, Max Mosley pays good money for that’. He told me to go fuck myself.”

Logan added: “I’m fond of a gallop, but on my own terms, d’you know what I mean? And, put it is this way, if I wake up and find myself in the mood for a jog do you think I really want to have a little Irishman sitting on top of me while I do it?

“Do you think that makes it perfect?

“Anyway, just make the fences smaller, you fucking dicks.”

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