It's not that much fun, say horses


HORSE racing is okay if you are in the mood, horses said last night.

'You don't know anything about me' said Logan

As the nation’s favourite horse-killing race claimed two, horses across the country urged humans not to assume that they know when a different species is enjoying itself.

Tom Logan, a 14 year-old horse from Stevenage, said: “Most of us quite like a bit of a run now and again, but not all of us and not as much as you think.

“For instance, my half-brother Geoff is a fat, lazy prick.

“Of course that doesn’t stop some lower middle class bitch clambering on top of him twice a week and thrashing his arse with a stick.

“I said to him ‘Geoff, Max Mosley pays good money for that’. He told me to go fuck myself.”

Logan added: “I’m fond of a gallop, but on my own terms, d’you know what I mean? And, put it is this way, if I wake up and find myself in the mood for a jog do you think I really want to have a little Irishman sitting on top of me while I do it?

“Do you think that makes it perfect?

“Anyway, just make the fences smaller, you fucking dicks.”

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