It's not that much fun, say horses
HORSE racing is okay if you are in the mood, horses said last night.
As the nation’s favourite horse-killing race claimed two, horses across the country urged humans not to assume that they know when a different species is enjoying itself.
Tom Logan, a 14 year-old horse from Stevenage, said: “Most of us quite like a bit of a run now and again, but not all of us and not as much as you think.
“For instance, my half-brother Geoff is a fat, lazy prick.
“Of course that doesn’t stop some lower middle class bitch clambering on top of him twice a week and thrashing his arse with a stick.
“I said to him ‘Geoff, Max Mosley pays good money for that’. He told me to go fuck myself.”
Logan added: “I’m fond of a gallop, but on my own terms, d’you know what I mean? And, put it is this way, if I wake up and find myself in the mood for a jog do you think I really want to have a little Irishman sitting on top of me while I do it?
“Do you think that makes it perfect?
“Anyway, just make the fences smaller, you fucking dicks.”