MPs demand web porn ban so they can get on with some work


POLITICIANS have called for tough curbs on the internet pornography that is distracting them from running the country.

    Vince is rarely available after lunch

    MPs want a system where computer users would have to ‘opt in’ to view adult websites, which they believe would prevent themselves spending long afternoons on xhamster instead of debating important legislation.

    Tory MP Tom Logan said: “The easy accessibility of porn means that lovely, lovely girls are only ever a click away, beckoning you with a crimson-nailed fingertip when you should be replying to a constituent’s unhinged and yet immensely tedious email about the hosepipe ban.

    “Porn has become too good to ignore throughout the working day. Couple this with the well-established fact that politicians are a highly-sexed breed and it’s no wonder this country is peering into the abyss.

    “Have you seen X-Art? It’s properly tasteful and well-produced, there’s shots of candles and the girls don’t get choked.

    “And most days I have to look at MILFHunter just to see if Sally Bercow’s on there yet. It’s only a matter of time.”

    Liberal democrat Roy Hobbs said: “Certainly porn affects my productivity, but I don’t think this is an issue if it’s British porn, like Ben Dover’s Cheek Mates or any films that look as if they were shot in the parts department of a Huddersfield garage.

    “As long as you’ve entered your credit card details, you’re buying British.”