Science & Technology
Prince Philip 'Delighted' With New Balls
PRINCE Philip has announced that he is 'absolutely thrilled' with his new set of balls.
14 Billion Tons Of Bullshit Pumped Into Firth Of Forth
EXPERTS warned of an environmental catastrophe last night after enough bullshit to fill 6.5 billion Vauxhall Zafiras poured into the Forth estuary.
Global Warming Will Make Statues Come To Life, Say Experts
RISING CO2 levels will cause statues to come to life and wreak blood-thirsty revenge on their human tormentors, scientists warned today.
Boffins Invent Self-Hoovering Floor
SCIENTISTS at Dundee University have patented what they claim is the world's first self-hoovering floor.
'Pointless Research' Gene Discovered
RESEARCHERS last night claimed they had discovered a gene which increases people’s propensity to launch enquiries into the bleeding obvious.