Ask Holly: How can I ensure my retorts are always witty in future?
The other day I got involved in an exchange of words with a taxi driver and only later did I think of something funny to say, but by then it was too late. I realise now I should have shouted, ‘hey, you talkin to me? you talkin to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin to? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you are taking to?’ Thus using a shared cultural reference to imply the cab driver is a socially inept homicidal maniac. I’m disappointed in myself. How can I ensure my retorts are always witty in future?
Have you tried the delectable combination of a Fruit Shoot and a Sherbet Fountain? It’ll sharpen your wits to the point of genius. People will flock to you and bask in the intensity of your comedic aura. Just be
prepared for the crippling sugar crash that comes about 20 minutes after consumption. You’ll be paralysed by the bleakness of existence until you get your hands on some smarties to counteract the come-down.
Hope that helps!