Ask Holly: Do you think I’d look good with a side ponytail?

Dear Holly,

I am sick to the back teeth of people constantly asking me probing questions about my private life. The other day I went to the barber and some filthy nosey shit-eater with a pair of scissors was asking me where I was going on my holidays and what I was up to at the weekend. I had to storm out with half a haircut. Do you think I’d look good with a side ponytail?

Robert

Los Angeles

Dear Robert,

When you are at school, teachers are always asking you stupid questions: “What is the capital of France?”; “What is fifteen divided by seven?”; “Who was the King of England in 1245”; “Who is making that annoying humming noise?”; “Which one of you little imbeciles stuck the picture of a tiny phallus on my back?” and so on. Someone should tell the headmaster that these people know nothing and need to re-train immediately.

Hope that helps!

Holly