Ask Holly: My once promising career has come to nothing

Dear Holly,

Me and a few former colleagues are having a reunion and I’m all paranoid because I’m old and past my prime and my once promising career has come to nothing. The last few years I’ve mostly been getting stoned and eating biscuits, and they’re all going to laugh at me, especially Bobby the Banana. Should I just sack the whole thing and stay home and watch Escape to the Country with a bucket meal?

Edd the Duck


Dear Edd the Duck,

Did you know that children’s’ TV used to only be on for a couple of hours a day? What the hell did everyone do for the other 22 hours? And did you also know you only had a choice between the BBC or ITV and no other channels because Nickelodeon hadn’t even been invented by Tim Berners-Lee? And did you know it was obligatory to have at least one rubbish puppet and someone with a mullet getting ‘gunged’ in every single programme? No wonder middle-aged people are all depressed alcoholics, constantly bringing our society to the brink of war: they were COMPLETELY deprived of Doc McStuffins. Without Doc we would have no-one to teach us compassion and rudimentary veterinary medicine. Such a terrible tragedy for the older generation.

Hope that helps,