Apparently hardly anyone wants to listen to me on the radio, even though I work so hard discussing pointless drivel with myself for hours on end interspersed with soul-destroying tracks by Coldplay and Michael Buble. What’s everyone’s problem?
My dad’s had a great idea for Channel 4’s new direction with Bake-Off. Instead of all this old lady nonsense about Victoria sponges and gingham and witty lesbians, the new version should be called ‘The Great British Man-Off’ and it’ll be a load of competitive middle aged blokes being bawdy and doing manly stuff like re-sealing the bath and shouting at the radio and getting frustrated with tools. Everyone on the show will be worried about going bald and every episode will end with an embarrassing scuffle in a pub car park.
Hope that helps,