Everyone thinks that the release of my new book of selfies which someone who I pay to think for me has wittily entitled Selfish, means that I am nothing but vacant and vain in equal measure. Just because I am completely inarticulate to the point of literally, like, literally, doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to express my intense love of myself over the years through autobiographical photography rather than actual literal words. If Samuel Pepys had owned an iPhone there’s no way he would have had time to write anything down because he would have been far too busy taking belfies and photobombing the Great Fire of London. Wouldn’t he?
People are so funny about selfies, but us primary school kids love them. My teacher, Mrs Dodkins says it’s because we’re generally all self-obsessed little cretins with access to powerful technology but no sense of humility, whatever that means. Mrs Dodkins is probably just grumpy because that video of her twerking at the school disco went viral.
Hope that helps!