‘Dear Holly: How can I convince Big Theresa to give me my referendum fix?’ Nicola, Edinburgh
After the last Scottish independence referendum I woke up the next day and swore: never again. But it’s been a while… surely I’ve shown I’ve got willpower? So, what’s another little referendum going to do? I just want the one; just one teeny tiny little referendum and then I swear I’ll be off them for good. How can I convince Big Theresa to give me my referendum fix?
There are lots of ways to get what you want, but you could try saying ‘oh pleeeeeeease’ in a really whiny annoying voice over and over again until your mummy can’t take it anymore. If that doesn’t work, you could try asking at a time when your mummy is distracted, like when she has started on the wine and is slagging someone off to your Auntie Sheila, or while she’s watching Poldark; and if you’re STILL not successful, just go and ask your daddy.Hope that helps!