Thoughtful husband reminds wife she needs to buy presents for his family too

A CARING family man has thoughtfully given his wife a list of his relatives to choose, purchase and wrap presents for.

Tom Logan made sure he told partner Helen to buy gifts for his parents, siblings and nieces in plenty of time, so that everyone would get the perfect item.

Logan said: “Christmas isn’t just about my wife buying presents for her family. It’s about her buying presents for my family too.

“The spirit of the season is for her to spend hours agonising over what relatives of mine she’s met twice would really like to receive, with no input from me.

“I’d better also remind her to choose which website she wants a gift card for or she’ll think I don’t put any effort into our relationship.”

Helen Logan said: “For our anniversary this year, Tom asked me to pick out a card for him to give me, so that he’d be sure I’d like it and definitely not because he couldn’t be bothered to get his arse to a shop.

“It’s this kind of effort that makes me glad I married him.”

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New car essential for superiority reasons, confirms school-run mum

A WOMAN has confirmed she needs a giant SUV to demonstrate that she earns more than the rest of the parents in her son’s class.

Helen Archer says that having children has forced her and her husband to examine their priorities, which have turned out to be underlining their superiority over other families by getting a huge 4×4.

Muir said: “I can barely manoeuvre it down the two narrow streets between our house and the school, but how else can I make it clear that we’ve also got a cavernous ground floor extension and built-in wine fridge?

“I see all those poor parents walking along like peasants and I just think, is that really the only message you want to give? That you’ve got legs?

“A few parents have pointed out that I’ve nearly knocked over the occasional child. I’ve had to patiently explain that the SUV has a very high chassis to accommodate all the extra features that money buys you.

“They don’t always get that we’re separated not only by car height but also by class.”