A MAN unable to attend his office Christmas party has invoiced his employer for the amount he would have drunk if he had.
Martin Bishop of Wrexham cannot attend today’s company-wide event because he has a prior family arrangement, so has requested the monetary value of the alcohol he would have consumed, totalling £368.25.
He said: “Ask any of the lads in Legal, I’m quite a drinker. And it’s a fancy hotel so booze won’t come cheap.
“F**k the cost of the meal, I’m happy to forego that. But put me down for two bottles of champagne minimum. More if the CEO gets carried away in his speech.
“After that it’s cocktails and they’re a tenner each and mostly ice so I down them fast. Honestly, £100 in there and I’ve barely got a buzz on.
“By that point the lightweights and those with families they like enough to go home to have faded away and it’s down to the hardcore, all clustered around Mike who has the company card. We’d keep going until 3am easy. Hence the bill.”
Nikki Hollis of accounts said: “I’ve passed it for payment. And I’ve got HR to put a written warning in the post, because if Martin had sunk that much he’d have grabbed my arse.”