A MAN is fooling himself into believing a case of wine is enough to satisfy the thirst of two baby boomer grandparents visiting this weekend.
Martin Bishop, 44, is confident his parents will not consume more than a bottle and a half of wine each a day, even though their retirement appears to be a non-stop, booze-fuelled party.
Grandparent Jane Bishop said: “Last time we visited it was a real dry old do, three bottles of wine for the entire weekend. And he had the nerve to offer me a herbal tea.
“There was no breakfast Buck’s Fizz, no lunchtime wine, no afternoon G&T and no port after dinner. I thought it was a social visit, not a meditation retreat.
“When we get together with our retired friends a Wednesday night dinner party is like a Bacchanalian orgy. You’d think the younger generation would be doing the same.
“But then I suppose they have to get up for work and they can’t afford fine wines every night because of their crippling mortgages we didn’t have to pay.”
Bishop added: “Who am I kidding? A case isn’t going to be enough. They’re like machines that run on Merlot, gin and Shania Twain. I’ll do a run to Aldi now.”