Man's evening nightcap is four cans of Stella

A MAN has a ‘nightcap’ of four cans of Stella every night to help him relax before bed.

While some people enjoy having a bath, meditating or reading as ways to help them switch off, Stephen Malley’s go-to method of unwinding after a hard day is cracking open a multipack of premium-strength lager.

Malley said: “There’s something very civilised about having a nightcap. People in films are always doing it, although they tend to choose the hard stuff, like whisky. I wouldn’t go that far. It’s not like I’m a massive pisshead or anything.

“I just find it helps me get to sleep better. It does mean I wake up at about 2am with a bladder that feels like it’s full of lava and about to explode, but those first two hours of shut-eye are bliss.

“Then I tend to lie awake for the rest of the night feeling uneasily hungover and worried about how I’ll get through another miserable eight hours at work feeling like shit.

“After that, I spend all day looking forward to chilling out with my nightcap. It’s basically what my wife would call ‘self-care’, if she didn’t already call it ‘a slippery slope into being a total f**king alcoholic’.”

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Cool dad into new bands like Arctic Monkeys

A MAN is insisting to his children that he is still relevant because he loves music by new bands such Arctic Monkeys.

Nathan Muir, who is 53, regularly updates his record collection with albums from cutting edge artists such as The Fratellis, The Libertines and The Zutons.

Muir said: “I take pride in staying up-to-date with the latest trends in the world of music. Just look at this new Hoosiers t-shirt I’m wearing.

“Whether it’s kicking back with the latest Kasabian CD or trying to find out when Razorlight are next touring, I’ve definitely got my finger on the pulse.”

Muir’s teenage daughter Charlotte said: “I know it’s a cliche for teenage children to find their father pathetic, but I actually have reason to. None of my friends’ dads are learning songs by The Kooks on their acoustic guitars.

“When I talk to him about actual contemporary music, he sort of glazes over. Trying to describe how Lil Nas X became successful thanks to TikTok virtually sent him catatonic.

“And when I stopped talking he just put on I Predict A Riot by Kaiser Chiefs and muttered ‘Sound of the future, that.'”