A MAN has put on a hat shaped like a giant Guinness pint resting on a shamrock brim with the reverence it deserves.
Ahead of an evening of dignified heavy drinking to celebrate the patron saint of Ireland, Oliver O’Connor of Chester has placed the holy day’s traditional clothing atop his head with the quiet respect of a Catholic receiving the sacrament.
O’Connor said: “Special occasions should be dressed for appropriately. St Patrick didn’t drive the snakes out without headgear.
“Just look at it. All of Ireland’s long and complicated history summed up in a polyester top hat loaded with national symbolism. And in case it’s too subtle for those who aren’t scholars of the Emerald Isle’s rich history, I’ve teamed it with a green wig.
“The ignorant might see it as a tasteless exploitation of cultural cliches, but look at the harp on the front, the timeless genius of the design, the shamrock. This was an investment. I’ll wear it year after year, unless I wake up without it or any memory of it again like last year.
“Of course, when you’re wearing a hat like this, you need to show your support for Ireland and its lyrical, soulful people by pairing it with a fake ginger beard and a leprechaun outfit. Not doing so would be offensive.”
O’Connor, who has an Irish grandparent, added: “If I see anyone English wearing this? I’ll confront them. My culture is not your costume.”
