Thursday, 25th February 2021

Regional pub so desperate to be cool it's pathetic

THE landlords of a regional pub clearly aspire to run a trendy London gastropub but cannot quite get it right, regulars have agreed.

The Yeoman’s Arms near Stafford was taken over last year by a man new to the area who wasted no time in turning it into a facsimile of a cool Hoxton boozer that painfully misses the mark.

Regular Tom Booker said: “The first thing he did was print 8,000 new beermats proclaiming it to be the ‘YO! Man Arms’. We should’ve known then.

“It’s been filled with weird vintage stuff, like a bubblegum machine and a framed Carry On Emmannuelle poster, but they’ve failed to commit to a proper theme so it’s like having a pint in a junk shop.

“The menu insists on making every dish a signature dish, like the ‘Aussie Special’ burger and fries with a ring of tinned pineapple on it and some horrible boiled beetroot.

“I came in Wednesday after five-a-side only to discover it was Old Skool Hip-Hop with DJ Miss Twist, featuring Wu-Tang Trivia Teamz. I shan’t make that mistake again.”

New proprietor Nathan Muir said: “Can you believe we’re the only pub with a fusion chef in this whole county? Incredible. They’ll soon be flocking here. I’m losing £4,500 a month.”