Friday, 14th May 2021

Woman asked for ID once tells story ten times

A 39-YEAR-OLD woman asked for ID when buying alcohol will not stop banging on about it, sources have reported.

Francesca Johnson has so far told all her friends, five acquaintances, her neighbour and a random stranger walking his dog about the ‘embarrassing’ incident.

Johnson said: “I didn’t understand what the girl in Waitrose said at first. Can you believe it? I thought it was a new Covid rule!

“I explained I had two children, laughing because it was so daft, and she just shrugged. ‘My eldest’s taller than you!’ I said.

“She still didn’t put through my wine so I said I hadn’t carried ID for twenty years, and pointed out that I was purchasing a £9 oak-aged Rioja Reserva plus a copy of the Sunday Times, not two litres of WKD!

“Anyway eventually she let me off. Now excuse me, I just need to WhatsApp my old best friend from school to tell her. Now there’s someone who’s aged badly in the face.”

A spokesperson for Waitrose said: “It’s company policy to ask, but we’re considering changing it for middle-aged women who cause long delays with their pealing laughs of gratified hysteria.”

Husband Tom said, “Ah, yes, the story about the ID. I think Francesca is contemplating selling the film rights.”