Affleck insists it’s okay for him to make-up stuff about Muslims

BEN Affleck has revealed it is okay to invent behaviour by Muslims as long as it is part of a serious film.

The actor and director said he made-up the scene at the end of Argo, featuring  the horrible Iranian airport guards, because it was more exciting.

He added: “The Americans actually went throughout passport control without any bother. But then I wouldn’t have been able to do those tense close-ups on the evil face of the really scary guard.

“So, I hope you don’t think that all Iranian airport guards are like that, especially if you’ve had enough spare time to research the true story of Argo.”

He added: “And let’s remember that Argo was a piece of cinema and starred people like me and Bryan Cranston. If it had been made by the Farrelly Brothers I would have been as appalled as anyone with these pathetic stereotypes.”


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French deride John Lewis for treating customers like humans

FRANCE has hit back at John Lewis, claiming the store treats its customers as if they have rights and feelings.

Following John Lewis boss Andy Street’s attack on France, French retailers said Mr Lewis was an ‘Uncle Tom’ who may as well ask his customers to thrash him with a belt.

A spokesman for the French Retail Federation said: “Look how John Lewis degrades and humiliates itself by assuming the customer’s complaint may be even remotely valid.

“John Lewis offers refunds and exchanges as if it was some kind of shop. In France you only do that after ignoring the customer for two months and even then you’d always make a point of setting fire to their car.”

The Federation, which is part of the French government, recently issued new guidelines for dealing with complaints which was just a list of dirty words for vagina.