JJ ABRAMS has confirmed that the new unbearable Star Wars gimmick character is a jelly-like thing called Spunko Bo.
The director said: “Even more so than a shadowy looming villain, Star Wars films need a woefully ill-judged comic character or species that makes you want to put a fist through the screen.
“Spunko Bo is Jar Jar and the Ewoks to the power of ten – a big greedy blob of green jelly who talks about himself in the third person, saying ‘S-Bo want munch munch, yumble, munch munch’.
“He’s obsessed with food and his physical girth is the source of many lame gags. These sorts of characters have to be offensive to someone and this time we chose chunky people.”
Spunko’s characteristics include leaving a trail of green slime in his wake, which pursuing stormtroopers slip on in moments of unsuccessful slapstick humour.
Abrams added: “He makes fart noises too.”