TREVOR Nelson is to be offered as a permanent commentary option for all BBC programmes.
Following Nelson’s stint saying whatever came into his head during the Olympics opening ceremony, viewers will soon be able to hear the DJ describing the images drifting across his frontal lobe as an accompaniment to any BBC output.
A BBC spokesman said: Trevor’s style is a hybrid of commentary and beat poetry that appeals simultaneously to sports fans, soul music heads and lovers of avant garde spoken word performance who claim the BBC isn’t supporting niche arts.
“Whether its asking where he can get a kettle like the one thats on Eastenders or saying how much hes scared of bees during a wildlife program, Trevor will be able to bring a uniquely personal perspective to any program.
It will be particularly exciting during quiz shows, as viewers try to answer the questions at home while Trevor shouts out the names of different pieces of fruit.
The 48-year-old iPod shuffle, awarded the MBE in 2007 for services to bigging up Britains posses, will become a permanent resident of the BBC TV Centre, where he will be intravenously fed a diet of liquidised Monster Munch and value brand orangeade to keep his commentary suitably disjointed and excitable.
Nelson will be the main commentator for the Community Shield match in August between Manchester City and Chelsea, the team he supports when he isn’t plotting the jazz funk revival.
He said: “Its a great honour to be asked to talk about things all day because oh hang on, a button has just fallen off my shirt. I like shirts. Did they used to have them in olden times when they rode horses?
“I stroked a horse once.