BBC2 Unveils Plans For 'Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana'

TV food fans were celebrating last night after the BBC confirmed plans for a new series of Nigella Lawson Eats a Banana.

The series of six half-hour shows will feature Nigella Lawson sitting in front of a camera, eating a banana.

A BBC spokesman said: "There will be no script, no music and no credits.

"It will just be a solid half-hour of Nigella Lawson working her way through a fairly large banana."

The Corporation has already commissioned a raft of shows featuring the popular chef.

Next spring sees the premiere of Nigella Lawson Rides a Horse, while the centre-piece of BBC2's summer schedule will be Nigella Lawson Washes a Car.

This year's prime-time Christmas Eve slot on BBC1 will be filled by the hour-long special Nigella Lawson Dresses Up as an Elf.

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High School Musical Stars To Have Nipples Removed

THE teenage stars of the High School Musical phenomenon are to have their nipples removed with lasers, Disney announced last night.

The entertainment giant believes an across-the-board strategy of hi-tech de-nippling will help to stem the tide of topless photographs appearing on the internet.

Disney has also warned its young stars that any future scandals will result in the sudden disappearance of their grandparents.

The move comes after Vanessa Hudgens, who plays bookworm Gabriella, was pictured displaying at least two of her nipples in a series of perfectly framed snapshots.

The photos were taken by teen heart-throb Zac Efron, her co-star and boyfriend, who was last seen being bundled into the back of a people carrier with a bag over his head.

High School Musical tells the story of a group of teenagers who use modern dance as a substitute for obsessive masturbation.

A Disney spokesman said: "We believe that love, laughter and singing are the best ways to solve a problem.

"But if that doesn't work we're more than happy to whip off your nipples and throw your grandmother down a well."