DAVID Bowie fans are readying themselves to pretend his new album is as good as when he was good.
With reviewers giving the album four stars before they actually listened to it, fans are writing pre-prepared phrases to explain why they cannot hum any of the songs.
Bowist Roy Hobbs said: While its unlikely to be as groundbreaking as Low or Heroes and it wont be as catchy as Ziggy Stardust, Im sure the engineering on it will be absolutely exemplary and everybodys names will be spelled correctly.
Ive been tossing around a few phrases and it looks like a toss-up between its not an easy listen but its worth putting in the effort or the more straightforward intriguing.
Its my biggest challenge since I tried to find the artistic merit in him singing to a muppet about wanting to hump a 16-year-old Jennifer Connolly while wearing a codpiece and Tina Turners hair.
The unexpected release of Where Are We Now has left fans with very little time to practice their opinions, noises and facial movements.
However, with many approaching middle age, they have a stockpile of noncommittal nods and smiles used for listening to their kids play the recorder, or their spouse tell the same story for the 800th time.
Hobbs said: I look forward to listening to it three or four times before popping it on the shelf next to that new album My Bloody Valentine seem to have released for a bet.