Cumberbatch to marry someone he’s met

FANS of Benedict Cumberbatch are outraged at the actor’s decision to marry a woman he has actually met face to face.

The star has snubbed the thousands of admirers who send him collaged pictures of him and them together to propose to Sophie Hunter, who many feel has abused her unfair advantage of being in a relationship with Cumberbatch.

Self-styled Cumberbitch Emma Bradford said: “Benedict, you have let us all down.

“Has Sophie Hunter got your face tattooed across her back? Has she written a fan fiction series where you run away together and open a zoo in Tasmania?

“No. Instead she’s snared you with conversation, a genuine emotional connection and I don’t doubt sex.

“I never thought you were that shallow.”

Bradford is switching her adoration to Homeland star Damien Lewis, who eschews real-world relationships in favour of women completely besotted with a fabricated idea of him based on his performance as somebody else.