THE new FIFA game is so realistic that it knows if players are smokers, drug addicts or closeted homosexuals.
The information, based on motion capture research, can be used for distracting players mid-match.
Gamer Tom Booker said: “I was two-nil up when, during a tackle, the opposition midfielder unexpectedly slipped my striker his phone number.
“After that the controls went shaky and the camera wouldn’t focus on any other players.”
Programmer Julian Cook said: “With the right algorithms you can tell which players are gay, which are still denying it even to themselves and which meet for trysts in anonymous airport hotels during international breaks.
“We’ve included that as an unlockable minigame, not that any gamers would want to bother because they’re all very secure in their heterosexuality.”