THE presence of morons returning from Glastonbury by train is worse than the rail strike was, other passengers have confirmed.
Travellers sharing their limited carriage space with white dreadlocked middle-class hippies who stink of damp clothes and weed are in agreement that three days of mass rail disruption were preferable in comparison.
Passenger Kelly Howard said: “The strikes were disruptive, but at least the workers on the picket line were fighting for a good cause. These tie-dye and sequin-wearing twats have got no excuse for their annoying behaviour.
“The luggage racks were filled with their massive flags, and they spent the whole journey watching gig footage they shot on their phones at maximum volume. I felt like I was there, mainly because I was surrounded by irritating pricks ruining the experience.
“I tried to move to first class to get away from them, but it was overrun by rich wankers on comedowns who clearly stay in those ruinously expensive pre-pitched glamping tents. In the end I just hid in the toilets until I reached my stop.”
RMT general secretary Mick Lynch said: “Our next strike will target these sorts of festival-going dickhead specifically. We’ll have full public support so I expect our demands to be met instantly.”