Subscribe

'Vibrant al fresco dating scene': How an estate agent will describe dogging next to your house

ESTATE agents are dutybound to polish even the most awful of turds. Here’s how they’d present these nightmare scenarios.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

Five suspiciously exotic cuisines your local scary pub has started serving

THE only thing scarier than a pub with bikers and broken glass outside is that same pub with a ‘Try our new tasting menu’ sign. Here are some cuisines that will make you want to stick to crisps.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›