Man who remembers Thundercats actually had a terrible childhood

A MAN who remembers something from the 90s did not therefore have a great time of it as a boy.

Contrary to the rules laid down by tedious internet memes, 34 year-old Martin Bishop’s childhood consisted of his parents getting divorced when he was six and being used as a pawn between the pair of them.

He said: “Thundercats didn’t really stop my dad from leaving or my mum from bringing home a string of blokes who all bore an entirely coincidental resemblance to my dad.”

“Lion-o shouting ‘Thundercats, hooooooo’ is a painful reminder of how the other kids at school used to refer to my mother.”

“Although I did enjoy Thundercats, and in fact asked my dad for a Sword of Omens toy for my eighth birthday.

“That was the year he completely forgot to get me a present.”

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Henry V’s warship 'looks less cool now'

THE historical warship found in a mud bank is now just a plank, experts have warned.

Following the discovery of one of Henry V’s most splendid and formidable vessels, excavators warned that it not longer looks that awesome, or indeed remotely awesome.

Archaeologist Norman Steele said: “Laymen will be reading about the Holigost and, because they are total idiots, imagining that it still looks like something from Pirates of the Caribbean.

“But after being in a bog for centuries it is now just about the size of a cricket bat, and only exciting to people like me who are really hardcore about such things.

“A dog could carry it around in its mouth.”

Sales manager Mary Fisher said: “Does it still have all the sails and the turrets and the cannons? Is the original crew still alive after being somehow held in suspended animation by the mud?

“Where on the internet can I buy tickets to sail on it? I must be the first of my social group to do that”