New Bond novel just string of sexual harassment suits

NEW James Bond book Trigger Mortis sees the ageing spy in court for more than 22 cases of sexual harassment in the workplace.

The 15th Bond novel, written by Anthony Horowitz, sees the Secret Service agent placed on gardening leave while facing his most dangerous foe yet, a lawyer suing him on behalf of the victims he labelled ‘Bond girls’.

Horowitz said: “The book shows us the real Bond: a civil servant who rolls up to the office half-pissed, grabs the buttocks of whichever luckless woman he sees first and gives her a ridiculous nickname like Kissy Suzuki or Xenia Onatopp.

“For some reason he thinks saying his name one-and-a-half times, dropping a leering innuendo and being fussy about his drink order is a sophisticated seduction.

“Then he staggers out for lunch, claims he’s had an exotic adventure in order to claim expenses, and tells everyone he’s shagged the women in question loads of times and they loved it.”

Bond’s chief enemy in the novel is a woman named Polly Gardener, who tells the court “though the defendant refused to refer to me by any name but ‘Pussy Galore’.

“I am, and have always been, a Sheffield-based facilities manager who is married with three children, despite the defendant’s delusion that I am a lesbian running a gang of acrobatic cat burglars.”