Play ruined after cast repeatedly breaks into song for no reason

A PLAY has been ruined after the cast repeatedly broke into song, it has emerged.

Audience members where left baffled shortly into the performance after the cast members stopped talking to each other like normal human beings and began singing openly to those watching the show.

Theatregoer Tom Booker said: “One minute they were just acting and talking to each other and telling a really interesting story about an Austrian family resisting the Nazis just before the war.

“Then they just started singing to us like that was a totally normal thing to do. It just undermined the authenticity of it for me.

“I should ask for my money back. Or sing for my money back while dancing around like a fucking idiot and see how normal they think it is.”

Fellow audience member Emma Bradford said: “That was some weird, avant-garde shit.”

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Woman excited to enter marketing demographic for incontinence products

A WOMAN is celebrating after getting her first targeted internet adverts for bladder-related products.

Mary Fisher, who recently turned 33, received the pop-up advert for ‘LadyFresh Towels’ that help you ‘feel confident around the clock, even in high-pressure work situations’.

Although initially unsure what the product was, it soon become clear that it was aimed at ladies of a specific age.

Fisher said: “I thought I was still young-ish, but the internet disagrees.

“Before today my adverts were for glamorous holidays, cool albums and some sort of pamper day where they put hot stones on you.

“Now apparently the internet thinks I regularly piss myself. I don’t know where to feel horrified or intrigued.”

Fisher then clicked on the advert, which triggered a video showing a woman in her 40s doing a well-received work presentation without fear of leakage.

She added: “To be fair she really nailed it and ‘got the contract’. Maybe I should get some of these pads, if only as a good luck thing.”