Pop music now aimed at middle-aged male perverts

40-PLUS male perverts are the target demographic for modern pop music, it has emerged.

As Justin Timberlake unveiled the latest pop video with breasts in, music executives admitted the industry was now all about pleasing dirty old men.

Label executive Stephen Malley said: “You may have been wondering why pop videos are so sleazy and there are so many songs with teen girls singing about their ‘sweet apple’ or some other thinly veiled sex euphemism.

“Basically we’ve given up on trying to sell music to kids. It was a stupid idea in the first place, I mean you don’t get much disposable income from a paper round, do you?

“These days it’s all about the perv and the lechers. They’re mostly single, and likely to remain so indefinitely, so they’ve plenty of money to spend on sexy product featuring teenage girls’ bottoms.”

Sleazy 43-year-old Tom Logan said: “I remember when pop videos were people dancing with cartoon animals and girl bands wore dungarees and sang about wanting to hold boys’ hands.

“Speaking as a lonely and quite strange man, I’m glad it’s not for kids any more.

“My current fave band is Sluttz, you should check them out, unless you’ve got teenage daughters in which case you might find it all a bit weird.”

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Incredible battle of wills watched intermittently while tea prepared

BRITONS have hailed Andy Murray after watching snippets of yesterday’s hard-fought match while mostly doing stuff in another room.

Mother-of-two Mary Fisher said: “His determination was incredible, at least in the few bits I saw as I dipped in and out.

“The other man was good too, can’t remember his name but he looks Spanish or Italian.”

She added: “I quite like tennis.”