Single member of AC/DC mysteriously untouched by age

A LONE member of Australian rockers AC/DC has been mysteriously untouched by the ravages of time. 

Fans are increasingly suspicious that lead guitarist Angus Young, aged 13, may owe his youth to some kind of diabolical bargain.

Lifelong AC/DC devotee Norman Steele said: “The rest of the band have succumbed to the rigours of old age and rock’n’roll. 

“But somehow Angus hasn’t aged a single day in 43 years, retaining his unlined schoolboy’s face, innocent golden curls and tendency to scrump apples from old Mr Melcher’s garden.

“What is his secret? Has he cursed his bandmates?

“Or is he leeching youth from the audience even as he fools them into thinking they still look decent in black leather jackets and tour T-shirts?”

Angus said: “Yeah, I made a deal with the devil, obviously. I’ve written like thirty songs about it.”


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Little bastard immune to good parenting

A TODDLER threw a tantrum purely because he is a little bastard, it has emerged.

Three-year-old Tom Logan had a meltdown in Sainsbury’s, causing fellow shoppers to blame his mother Alice for not raising him correctly.

However it has since emerged that the toddler is just a little bastard, and nothing his mother can do will fix that.

Alice Logan said: “I try my level best not to indulge him excessively, to create a stable and loving home environment with clear structure and routines.

“It’s just that his personality type is ‘little shit’. I still love him because I am genetically programmed to do so, but there it is.

“Having a kid is a lottery.”

Parenting expert Emma Bradford confirmed that Tom Logan is worse than the evil doll Chucky in the Child’s Play films.

She said: “Some children are just little shits by their nature. It’s unfair that the blame is always shifted onto the parents.

“Not having been alive for very long doesn’t excuse you if you throw yourself on the floor and holler because you want a sugary thing. Sort it out.”