Straight men wishing they were as ‘flamboyant’ as Prince

STRAIGHT men were in awe of both Prince’s music and his epic success with women, it has been confirmed.

As Eamonn Holmes, a television presenter, described the late musician as ‘flamboyant’ as a code word for ‘effeminate’, millions of heterosexual men said Prince possessed the sort of ‘flamboyancy’ they could only dream of.

Tom Logan, from Stevenage, said: “When a man writes a song about meeting a woman ‘in a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine’, it suggests to me that he is a good deal more confident and successful with the opposite sex than the likes of me.

“While it is certainly a vivid and powerful lyric, it is not ‘flamboyant’.”

Martin Bishop, from Peterborough, added: “I’m old enough to have had a ‘fondness’ for Sheena Easton. I suspect Prince knew Sheen Easton far, far better than I did, even at the apex of my ’fondness’.

“Perhaps if, like Prince, I had written an incredibly sexy song for Ms Easton things might have been different. I suppose I’m just too ‘masculine’. And untalented.”

Julian Cook, from Hatfield, said: “Is the guitar solo in When Doves Cry ’flamboyant’? I always thought it sounded like Jimi Hendrix on Viagra. Perhaps Eamonn Holmes thinks Jimi Hendrix was also ‘flamboyant’. But then again, Eamonn Holmes is very ‘masculine’.”