Taylor Swift album has six songs about George Osborne

MORE than half of Taylor Swift’s new album is about her brief but tempestuous relationship with George Osborne.

Swift, who has previously written songs about ex-boyfriends Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal and Transformers star Megatron, had a three-month fling with the Chancellor of the Exchequer earlier in the year.

Music blogger Mary Fisher said: “The guy with ‘thick black hair and a cruel lip’ in Love So Cold is clearly Osborne.

“But lyrics like ‘told me everything about our love made sense, now you avoid me like your constituents’ don’t paint a pretty picture.

“And by Eleven, about their secret meetings in Downing Street, she’s singing ‘I thought you could love an American girl, but you only had time for Russian men’.

“The chorus goes ‘I trusted you and turned it up to eleven, but your heart’s austerity is gonna end never.’ Harsh.

The Treasury has privately denied any link between the affair and Osborne’s surprise move to remove import duty and VAT on US tween country-pop in the March Budget.

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Jogger 'stable' after brushing against toxic amphibian

THE jogger who triggered David Cameron’s poison glands is being cared for at home by relatives.

Preys on fish and small mammals

28-year-old Dean Farley is bed-bound with delirium after brushing against the potentially deadly prime minister.

Biologist Emma Bradford said: “Cameron’s natural defence mechanism is a layer of toxin-tipped spines beneath his salmon-coloured epidermis. Unexpected contact causes them to momentarily protrude, delivering a dose of poison powerful enough to kill a bear.

“It’s a trait evolved by his toad-like ancestors in the Amazon basin, who lived in riverbank mud burrows until 15 years ago.”

Farley’s neighbour Wayne Hayes said: “He’s still numb all down his side and can see chittering needle-fanged creatures on the periphery of his vision.”

Security for the prime minister is to be reviewed, with a specially-modified Zorb sphere being constructed for public engagements. A small hole in the sphere will allow him to sign trade agreements and point his finger to emphasise things during speeches.

Bodyguard Nikki Hollis said: “People think Cameron’s security detail are there to protect him from the public but it’s the other way around.

“The consequences of him kissing a baby or shaking hands with a pensioner don’t bear thinking about.”