Taylor Swift forever tainted after speaking four words of Welsh

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We ask you: has Sunak met his pledge to poll lower than inflation?

THE prime minister pledged that his popularity would always be lower than UK inflation, which has fallen to two per cent. Has he kept his promise? 

Eleanor Shaw, librarian: “Inflation’s two per cent, Sunak’s personal popularity is at negative 59 per cent. He’s kept his side of the bargain and I’ll keep mine by not voting for him.”

Martin Bishop, statistician: “Two per cent inflation merely means that goods are rising in price more slowly, not getting cheaper. Likewise staying steady on 21 points behind doesn’t mean hatred for the Tories isn’t deepening as time goes on.”

Grace Wood-Morris, crystal healer: “What if Sunak’s linked to inflation by a curse, like index funds? And when it falls he gets shorter?”

Sue Trahene, biochemist: “They can’t take credit because inflation’s fallen everywhere, even in countries that have never felt the shadow of the Conservatives that blights the land and stops crops growing.”

Joanna Kramer, file clerk: “I think this is one area where the traditional British support for the underdog will be laid aside.”