Watching Eurovision ironically is still watching Eurovision, say experts

WATCHING Eurovision to sneer at it is no better than watching it genuinely, like a Belgian, it has been confirmed.

The contest, founded in 1956 to prove that a united Europe could never work, is viewed by millions of Britons who imagine that knowing how bad it is somehow leaves their souls untarnished.

Psychologist Dr Helen Archer said: “Sitting through two, or even three, entries can be done with ironic detachment and an arms-length appreciation of the massive levels of kitsch involved.

“But by the time you’re watching a Lithuanian woman howl about snow, you need to admit that you’re watching this shit deliberately and that you are a twat for doing so.

“You may even be at a party held deliberately to watch it. Try to imagine explaining that you did this to your grandfather, or an old teacher you respect. Imagine the relentless, crushing shame.”

Joseph Turner, from Blackburn, said: “I thought it would be a laugh, but the joke was very much on me.

“The sooner we’re out of Europe, the better.”