ONCE Britain’s favourite mid-morning weekday ITV magazine show, This Morning is now better known for corruption, betrayal and queue-jumping. Can new hosts save it?
Norman Steele, gamekeeper: “Deeley’s been to America and married an Irishman. Holly would never have done any of those things.”
Carolyn Ryan, spiraliser: “What about Alison Hammond? How will she feel, knowing there’s a job on TV she didn’t get?”
Tom Booker, solar power installer: “I personally would have gone for Genesis P. Orridge and French New Wave filmmaker Agnès Varda, but sadly they’re both dead.”
Joseph Turner, loss adjuster: “But have they got that crucial chemistry? The chemistry of an innocent blonde with big boobs nonetheless and a closeted gay man two decades her senior?”
Eleanor Shaw, underwriter: “You say ‘save This Morning’ as if that would be a good thing.”
